


judgment

by TheTacticianMagician



Category: Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: M/M, POV First Person, basically building a little on the judgment scene, so everything is pain, unrequited chrobin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-11
Updated: 2015-02-11
Packaged: 2018-03-11 15:49:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3331106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheTacticianMagician/pseuds/TheTacticianMagician
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I think briefly of promises and talks of the future, but that's not what happens – I see her face falling instead.</p>
            </blockquote>





	judgment

**Author's Note:**

> I could write a number of different versions for Lucina's Judgment scene, but I decided to go with one of the most painful possibilities, because I am a terrible influence to myself.
> 
> I wrote all of it in one sitting so I apologize for possible minor mistakes. It's certainly not my best.
> 
> Canon dialogue is used mostly throughout.

The sunset fills my vision with its bright colours, turning the grasslands into a sea of gold, its waves lapping at the wind. It might not be my favourite time of day, but its beauty never ceases to surprise me anew. After all that many weeks and months, you could think to yourself, 'there's nothing else about the sky, nothing new to see', but that's just not true. 

Especially not for me. I cannot remember any skies prior to the blue infinity that shone upon me that one day when I woke up to my new life.

Ever since then, each rainbow and cloud formation and rainfall has found a place in the memories in my heart. Each more beautiful than the last.

Today the clouds cover nearly the whole sky, lines of pure light woven along them by the setting sun.

Opposite the sun, there's darkness. Rain-heavy clouds, slow, misty. They are majestic, as well.

I think to comment on it when Lucina walks over to me, but her silence knots my throat. I can feel from her that this moment is not one for light talk. I steel myself and allow the memories of the latest events to roam through my mind's eye.

"Beg pardon, Robin. Might I have a word?" As I expected, her tone was a little heavier than usual, as though she hesitated to even speak. Perhaps she doubts me and wishes for my reassurance, that I can control my own body and be trusted – but I cannot quell that doubt even in myself.

"... Lucina. What is it?"

"It's about my father." We are just nearly the same height, hers surpassing mine a little, so our eyes have no trouble meeting – but I notice she... isn't actually seeing me. "I have memories of him, you know. From when I was little." Her focus is not- "Before he... died."

My heart clenches. "I see..."

The corner of Lucina's lips turn up in a faint smile, and it erodes party of my unease. "He was courageous, and kind, and everyone spoke fondly of him. People say he was brave right until the very end." I felt like I should speak, add a compliment or a half to Chrom's person – although he deserved so much more – but my throat was sealed. "I always yearned to know him better. And now that I do..." An emotion glints in her eyes, too quickly for me to catch. "I can see that the world will be robbed of a very great man. ...I won't allow that to happen."

I return her smile. "I understand. You love him." _I love him-_ "...We all do."

I think briefly of promises and talks of the future, but that's not what happens – I see her face falling instead. "Robin, I..." A deep breath, "Please, forgive me..."

She immediately unsheathes Falchion and raises it towards me. With the keen realization of it – _there're no foes nearby, nobody else_ – my heart skips a beat. "Lucina?!"

I no longer hear the wind. I no longer feel my limbs. There's the Brand shining in her left eye, the light of the sun reflected sharply on the sacred blade, and there's her voice-

"Stay where you are, Robin!" She drawls, her commanding tone having never been something she ever used with me before. "I have no choice. I must kill you."

It hits me cold and sudden like an ice cage embracing my spine. My body remembers my leader role before my mind can catch up, "What?! What madness is this?!"

I've seen her in battle before. She could take impulse and two lengthy steps, in the span of a blink, and I'd be impaled through. 

Did she want that?

Lucina did not lunge at me. I focused on her face again, and it... held pain. "In my future, you..." She tried to retrieve a stern façade. "You are my father's murderer."

These words make my stomach lurch and I can feel memories- nightmares, prickling like needles at the back of my mind, Chrom's last words to me – No, this- This couldn't- They weren't true— It's all I can do to not break into a cold sweat, expression bitter with denial. "No! That's insane! Why would I kill Chrom?"

"I was not certain myself, until now... I knew he had been killed by his closest friend." My entire expression faltered. She saw that, certainly saw that- "Having witnessed your bond with him, I doubted it could be so... But today's events make it clear." Lucina's hand tightens on the Falchion. "You are at Validar's mercy. I suspect it's he who forces you to take my father's life, and very soon..."

"No," I say, before I can stop myself, my voice weak in comparison to the leader's resolve I was able to hold on to just a moment ago. "Lucina, wait."

Her next sentences flow with a river's might, as though she'd practiced their conviction before coming to confront me. "If my father is right, then we can change our fates. If this dark future is to be averted, sacrifices must be made." I raise my arm slightly, and I want to speak, even if anything-- 

"I'm sorry, Robin!" Her voice raises to such a level it ripples through my heart as though Falchion had already found its mark, but it was still held in the same position – in her... trembling, quaking hand. "I know this is murder, I... I know that..."

She's breaking.

This will hurt her as much as it will hurt me.

"Lucina, you don't have to—"

She cuts me off. "Don't make it harder! Don't resist, and your death will be swift and painless." I swallow- I do not want to think of a match between her and me. "If you hold any love for Chrom, then let this be done..."

That rips my heart.

I'm cold.

I'm shivering.

 

If I'm alive. I'll kill him.

Why am I thinking about myself?

Lucina wants to save Chrom. That's what she wants.

And that's what I want, too. With all of my being. 

 

I love him.

 

I glance at Falchion's blade. Its slice has always been graceful, merciful. 

It was sacred. It would end me.

It would end Grima.

 

"... Very well. I forfeit my life." My words sound hollow, but I mean them. I allow my arms to turn, palms towards her, in a vulnerable, accepting stance. "Do this for the sake of Chrom. Tell him I..." My heart knots itself. It hurts. "... Just promise that you'll stay well, that you'll take care of everyone else."

I look at Lucina, trying to control her breath, to still her wielding hand. The last sight before my death. She is beautiful beyond words, just like her father. "Godspeed, Robin."

I close my eyes.

"WAIT!"

The yell startles both of us, and I still feel out of the grounds of reality even when the owner of the voice approaches. "Enough!"

Chrom comes to a stop by Lucina. Lucina, whose blade had been halfway to its mark. 

Their words are a blur to me.

"Father, you don't-"

"Lucina, lower your sword..."

"But, Father—"

"LOWER YOUR SWORD!"

"A-all right."

Falchion comes to rest by her side, her arm's hold still trembling. "... I can explain."

"There's no need. You're not the only one who can eavesdrop. I heard every word." Both me and the once-Exalt flinch at the remark, at the knowledge that he'd seen all of it; his daughter's reluctance, my descent from resistance to utter submission. About his fate. My betrayal. "Lucina, I know your heart is in the right place..." Chrom's eyes flash with momentary tenderness as he looks at her, before becoming those of a commander again. "But I trust Robin. You cannot shake my faith in him."

His words swell me with pain and nostalgia and--

"This is not about trust! He'll be the death of you!"

I feel the sickly surge of a nightmare. I ponder holding fast to Lucina's wrist to impale myself, but I know I wouldn't be able to. My legs are frozen, my arms limp.

Chrom is unwavering. "Robin and I have held fast through good times and ill... We swore to be two halves of a greater whole." For a second I can't breathe, I know of the ring he holds, the ring that isn't mine – _which whole do you want us to be if you chose somebody else?_ – yet I bask in his words all the same, _foolish_ , I've been nothing but foolish these two years- "You underestimate the strength of those ties, the bonds we share. I believe in them more than some foretold 'destiny'."

"This is easier to say when you haven't seen it yourself..." Lucina averts her gaze - certainly trying to subdue the memories stifling her own soul.

"Lucina, aren't our ties stronger here now than they were in your future? You said so yourself. In this flow of time we are bound tighter than ever, you and I. Not just as father and daughter... But as friends." He then holds her hand, squeezes it, both battle-hardened. "We can change things--we already have... and we will again." He says it with an emotional conviction that allows me to know; he must be thinking of Emmeryn, of the cries of thousands of Plegians withdrawing from war for her sake.

"Very well, Father." Lucina says weakly, hesitating before turning towards me. "I would ask your forgiveness, Robin, but I cannot expect it."

Grima is the one who does not forgive.

I am Robin.

"I do forgive you, Lucina. You needn't speak of it again." My voice is hoarse, and I am still trying to recover. I'd been ready for death – as ready as I could be – only to be lifted from it. Given a chance I'm not sure I deserve.

"I pray... That is, I trust the both of you will prove me wrong. And that this future will fall to pieces before your bond ever would." There's an apology in her eyes as she withdraws, sheathes the Falchion, and walks away.

She knows none of us will speak of this to anybody else.

Unwittingly, I let out a tired sigh, unsure about how to feel. Chrom steps closer to me, and I feel his hands on my shoulders. My heart rate leaps through the roof.

"Don't. Ever do that. Again. You both nearly made that future of yours happen early by almost giving me a heart attack." I release a breath I didn't know I was holding, hearing him speak to me. If I had been dead, now, I would've never felt his warmth or heard his voice again. This realization fills me with dread. "Please trust yourself, Robin. You have to believe. We're not here to give up. Not me, not the children, not the Shepherds, and not you."

 

But I killed you.

I've had the memory. 

_I killed you._

 

I wanted to cry, but I was somehow so tired I simply slumped against him.

"We should head back to camp." There was a smile to his voice; I'm at least glad I could amuse him. I draw away to look into his eyes, to search for strength in them like I do in our battles together.

"Alright." Is all I can say.

Chrom leads the way, patient with my muddled state of mind. I briefly concern myself with the possibility that Lucina will avoid me from now on; I should make it clear at some point that I don't want her to.

As we walked, Chrom spoke up, softly:

"Is there something you wanted to tell me?"

Oh. He did say he'd heard every word, after all.

I shake my head, feeling my lungs constrict. "No." _I've told you many times, in my dreams._

I hold his hand, tightly - he caresses mine in return, and I know not to bring my hopes up; it's only for comfort. He's had to watch me swear to forfeit my life for his very sake. He knows I must feel unsettled.

I try to bask in the fact that I'm still standing, that the skies are still shining beautifully, that the wind blows, that the sun has yet to set and is bringing warmth to the land.

 

I'm still alive.

 

And so is Grima.


End file.
